This is the quickest a semester has ever gone by for me. Constant chaos and unexpected diversions (some great...some not so great) have been the norm. I didn't think my S1 semester of nursing school was going to be very difficult, and it hasn't necessarily been the content, but the amount of content that has been trying. From pediatrics to maternity nursing, I've been stretched this semester in ways that I didn't even realize.
Going into my pediatric clinical, I was actually dreading it. All I could think about were snot-nosed children (literally and figuratively) being awful because they were sick. All I could think of was how terrible it was going to be. I was correct in some senses, but I couldn't have been more wrong in others. I spent a good amount of time on a pediatric oncology unit and fell in love with the patients. Those toddlers, those young children, those teenagers are stronger than many adults I know. Along the pediatric route I also got to spend a day in a pedi ER, and I saw things I'd only read about...and some I'd never even heard of. I never thought I'd be a nurse for anyone but adults, but I seriously started to question that career choice after spending time with the kids on those units.
My maternity clinical started after pediatrics, and I was a little more than concerned that I was going to be bored to tears...and totally grossed out. Thank goodness that wasn't the case. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely gross things, but nothing worse than things I've already seen. Although I don't necessarily want to be a labor and delivery nurse, being a part of bringing new life into this world, even if I just got to be in the room as it was happening, was absolutely incredible. Today I held a newborn. I gave it's first bath. I did other things for it that it will not remember...but it is one life that I will never forget. As I held and cared for many babies the past couple of days in my clinical rotation, I looked at each of them. Watched them blink as they saw the light for the first time. Listened to their hearts beat. Watched them learn to breathe in air. Rocked them to sleep while their parents had to be elsewhere. It was in those quiet moments that I really learned to have a new appreciation for life. For the Giver of Life. These mothers and these babies go through so much to produce and become living beings. It's astounding how the feel of a newborn's fingers wrapped around one of yours can bring you back to a place of deep intimacy with the one Giver of Life that is God. It's astounding how so many little moments in just one semester can affect you so profoundly when you reflect upon them and realize what God had in mind for your life at that time.
I know this post has gotten a little wordy, so I'll leave you with an excerpt from my journal:
"I do not think we really understand what love is until we meet those who have never even heard the concept...You do not know hurt until you look into the terrified eyes of a child who has never known true love, who has only known abuse, neglect, and abandonment...You do not know pain until you look into the eyes of a toddler undergoing chemotherapy...you do not know true joy until you watch a doctor tell the mother of that toddler that the chemo is working and shrinking that unthinkable tumor."
And to that I would add, "you do not know love until you see the love a newborn receives from his mother and father. That newborn did nothing to earn that love, yet he receives it fully because there is literally no other way to live." The same can be said for us in the context of Christ. We have done nothing to earn His love, but he wants us to receive it fully. Christ's love is literally the only way to eternal life, and how great is our father for offering that love to us so unconditionally!
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