As I start the second semester of my junior year of college, I am hit with the sudden realization that God is chasing me. Not that I didn't know God was out to get me (that's a good thing, by the way), I just hadn't realized I was running so hard from Him. And for all my running, I wasn't getting anywhere. I don't know why I even bothered because it's not like life was more exciting or happy, in fact, it was just the opposite. Nothing was ever really "bad," I was just never fully satisfied with anything I did.
I'm pretty good at faking it 'til I make it, so only the people closest to me have seen me at my worst, and even the thought of that is devastating to me. Alicia cannot have issues. Alicia cannot show weakness. Alicia has to have it together... False. I am as screwed up a person as any of you. None of us are perfect, not one. It's funny because I usually pride myself on being able to read people, but recently I was fooled, and by another "follower of Christ" no less. When I came to terms with all that had actually been going on, I had the audacity to become angry at God for allowing that person to act in such a manner. I remember thinking, "Christians don't do that crap, especially not to each other." Then I realized something...I am no better than that person - I'm just a different kind of jerk. This person is still my brother in Christ. Does that mean he is not responsible for his actions? Of course he is. It just means that I cannot judge him before I pull the plank out of my own eye and realize I've done the similar things to others as well. Acting out of anger here would do me no good.
"Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12).
People screw up, fellow Christians screw up. Does that make them our enemy? No, but Satan would love if you allowed it to. Humans are constantly in the wrong, thank God for the perfect sacrifice we have in Christ for our misdoings. Leviticus 1 talks about burnt offerings the Levites were to bring to God. Each offering was a sacrifice - defined in Webster's dictionary as something precious being given away, or the destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else. These burnt offerings had to be a male from the herd without defect which would make atonement for the Levites' sins. In the Hebrew language, "atonement" is "kaphar," meaning that the sin and sinner would be covered so that neither could be seen. In order for the offering to be acceptable to God, there were certain things the person giving the offering had to do. One was to lay his hand on the head of the offering before killing it. This symbolized many things including the confession of sin, consent to substitution of the animal for the sins committed, acceptance of the victim that was to be slain in the sinner's place, and belief in sin transference (Spurgeon, 1877). Now, this kind of offering showed devotion to God. Other offerings took place to symbolize other things, but I focus on this for now because it shows that we are not even close to being worthy of coming to God without something to cover our sinful nature. God hates sin, but oh that we would see His love for the sinner by making a way for us to come back to Him, that He wants to "reconcile to himself all things, in heaven and on earth by making peace through Christ's blood shed on the cross" (Colossians 1:20). My hope is in Him, I believe these things are true. The burnt offering in the time of the Levites was just a glimpse of what the sacrifice of Jesus would be like.
Praise the Lord that Jesus didn't just die for certain people, he died for all because all have fallen short in this world. I know many of you think I'm a complete idiot for believing the things that I do, but I will tell you that I have seen God do amazing things. You can try to refute the Bible, but you cannot change what I know to be true because of what I have seen in my own life. I accepted Christ as my Savior a long time ago, but I'm learning more and more everyday that he is everything - my hope, my strength, my acceptance in this world. I am only fully satisfied in Him. Believe it or not, God has offered that same satisfaction to you, too.
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